Im really sorry everyone! So much has went on in the past month that I never got a chance to blog.... but if you'd please forgive me, read on and I'll explain.
I know the last time I wrote was a few days before Heaven Lee's 1st Angelversary so I'll just update you from there to now...
The girl I was staying with and I had a few problems so I have been staying between my bestie, Sami's house and my boyfriend, Shane's friends house! Its been a crazy month to say the least.
Heaven's Angelversary wasn't to bad! I mean I definitely had her on my mind all day and I was sad but I just tried to be positive. I kept telling myself that I have a special guardian angel, who is with me every second of every day and how thankful I am that I had the experience of carrying her inside of me, experiencing the loss of someone so special to me, and healing into the person I am today! I spent the day with Shane and Sami! <3
With everything going on at that time (arguing with the people I cared about, my emotional status, and drama constantly) I ended up going to the psych ward voluntary. They said they would keep me for only 4 days. During the first 2 days, I really had to dig deep inside of me to find enough self esteem, motivation, and self respect to learn myself, my emotions, and what I need in my life. I had a hard time. I felt like I had nothing and no one but myself and it was one of the hardest things to accept. Once I figured out that it was good to have this time, it was already to the point that the meds made me dopey (I mean seriously drugged up) so I couldn't think straight. I ended up staying a total of 5 days and Sami, Shane, Price, Calista and my mom were the only people who came to see me while Misty, Kiara, and my dad called to check on me! I mean when you are at your lowest you definitely find out who your "real" friends are! Although that experience was one of the hardest in my life, I feel like it had both a positive and negative impact!
So now to update you on the boyfriend situation.... I know I said I needed to get my mind right and that I wasn't ready for a relationship but when I got to know Shane everything felt so right I didn't want to pass up the opportunity at sharing something so "real". To be honest, Im so thankful that I didn't just ignore it because so far our relationship has been one of the only positive things in my life!
Until next time..........
By the way, I LOVE the name Heaven, so beautiful and unique and appropriate. Wanted to let you know I too am a single woman, 22, with my babies in Heaven.
ReplyDeleteThank.you.for.your.kind.thoughts...as.of.right.now.I.only.have.the.internet.on.my.phone.but.I.will.try.to.still.follow.you.after.I.finish.this.response...also.my.phone.is.broke.and.I.can't.use.the.space.button...lol.perfect.timing...right?!I'm.so.sorry.for.your.loss.as.well...I.haven't.gotten.the.chance.to.update.my.blog.yet.but.in.december.of.last.year.I.suffered.the.loss.of.twins.Aaliyah.Kristine.and.Alijah.Shayne...its.so.hard.to.go.through.all.of.this.again....thanks.for.the.love.of.Heavens.name.I.found.it.very.fitting.for.the.situation....if.you.wanna.chat.feel.free.to.email.me...Be.blessed....
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