Time With Monk

Here's a few pix from my time spent with my Monk Monk last week!

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I Thought I Saw A Rainbow

November 22, 2011- I had been feeling nauseous for a week or so, Shane kept telling me it was time to POAS but I was secretly fearing what I already knew was true. I wont lie, I was terrified because I didn't want to go thru what I did with my previous loss but on the other hand seeing those 2 lines, I was sooooo happy I can't even explain it to you!

Obviously, I had AmandaBears tweak and decorate the test for me, thanks girl you know that meant the world to me! I wanted to wait to tell Shane because the next day was his birthday. After he asked and asked for a little over 2 hours I finally gave in and sent him the picture of the decorated test, wishing Daddy a happy early birthday! He seemed excited and immediately started spreading the news.

At my doctors appointment I found out that I was due July 18 and I was put on bed rest (high-risk) since I had a miscarriage just over a year before. I got to thinking about it and I started looking at the O date, which happened to fall on the weekend we went to VA and on the way home stayed in the cabin. I had to have blood work done multiple times because my progesterone was coming back extremely low and my beta levels had dropped. I also was experiencing horrible lower back pain that sent me to the ER multiple times, that is where I received the most exciting yet scary news! There on the ultrasound machine were 2 little heartbeats, Baby A and Baby B! Ahhhhhh! Twins! Faternal Twins to be exact! At 7w5d Baby A was measuring 7w4d and Baby B was 5w2 days but both of their heart rates were under 80. Come to find out, the reason that we were even having twins is something called Superfetation. Superfetation is when you ovulate, get pregnant, and then ovulate again. My progestrone was so low it had allowed another egg to be released.

On December 7, 2011 I had to take yet another trip to the ER because of my lower back pain and that is when I was told the most devastating news, their was no heartbeats! On that night, part of me died. My rainbow changed to the darkest storm I had weathered this far in life!  I carried my sweet peas for 2 weeks, my body for some reason just wouldn't let them go.  After 2 more weeks, I naturally passed the twins on the day after Christmas at 10 weeks 5 days!

Aaliyah and Alijah,

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about you! Your mommy misses you so much and I hold a special place in my heart for my "Peas". Im so glad that your dad and I got to experience creating you, spending time with you, and throughout all this LOVING you! I know that you Peas saw mommy and daddy going through some hard times... BUT its so important to me that you both know that even though it would have been hard, we LOVE you and WANTED you to be apart of our lives..... I love you, my dear Peas! I hope your enjoying playing with the other angel babies and that you found your dear sister, Heaven. Until we meet again rest easy knowing your in the Lord's home....

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