A Letter 2 My Peas

Alijah Shayne & Aaliyah Kristine, It's so crazy to think that today is your due date. Although, I am sure that you would have been here long before now, I will take today and of course your angelversary to remember you. Even though we did not get to spend much time together, the time we did spend together was most definitely cherished. It's crazy how much I have missed my horrible back pain, nausea, etc since you have been gone. I want to clear something up for you both! I do not ever what you to think that Mommy and Daddy did not want you guys! We were delighted when we found out I was pregnant. The news of having twins hit Daddy kind of hard and it scared him, but as we all 4 know, Daddy made the decision quickly to be in our lives! He loves you too! :) I often wonder how you both look... Do you resemble Mommy or Daddy? Aaliyah, I'm sure you're looking just like your Daddy! Hopefully, you have a little something from me! Would you have been extremely smaller than your brother? Would you love PINK, skirts, dresses, just being a girly-girl, like your Mommy? Alijah, you probably look like your Daddy as well! Such dominate features he has! :/ But, that's ok! Would you look like your older brothers? Bad boy type, like your Daddy? Wrestling, like both sides of the family? I wish I could express the amount of questions and LOVE that I have for you! Happy Would-Be Birthday, my Two Peas!!! Give your BIG sister, Heaven Lee hugs and kisses from Mommy! Most importantly, remember that Daddy and I love you very much, talk about you all of the time, and you keep you in our thoughts/prayers! Until Next Time... Love Always, Mommy

Blogging Plan?!

Well, Shane has been back to work for a week now. I miss him so much throughout the week since we only get to see one another for an hour or so! It sucks, but getting our lives together is important for both of us. He has final pre-trial for the case we caught in December, on Friday! Wish him tons and tons of luck! I want my baby at home with me... noooooo prison time, please?! I have been extremely busy with school! I can not believe that I am 6 weeks into my first block of classes, only 3 more to go until they are completed! I am doing pretty decent... I have a 94% in Personal Finance and a 75% in University Studies... I know the latter of the two isn't so great. I accidently sent my assignment in for the wrong week which inititally made my grade a 62% so it has taken a little bit of time for me to get that grade back up. I think that in the long run it has not only taught me to pay attention when submitting assignments, but I think that I will value my grades more. The struggle of getting it back up is sooooo much work! :/ I should have my new phone here within the next week or so! I miss it so much! But I have learned to live without it! GO ME! Honestly, if it wasn't for school I probably wouldn't even get a new phone! I like the silence! :) So, here's my idea for blogging... I will attempt to blog EVERY MONDAY! I mean there is no excuse that I haven't been! I am on the computer 4 days a week for school... Pathetic I know, but I will try, try, try!!!!!!!

Heaven's Due Date.... 1 year

Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” -Matthew 19:14

Heaven Lee,

It's crazy to think that a year ago today I would have been delivering you! I'm sure that you are in the arms of  the Lord along with your little brother and sister... But I can't express to you enough how much you are loved and missed! Not a day goes by that I don't think about you... what you look like? What achievements you would be reaching... It's hard but one day I will see you and all of my questions will be answered! I love you, Heaven Lee! Happy would-be Birthday Baby Girl!!!

Love Always,
Mommy

Until next time...

The Beginning Of May

Well, This month is starting out completely crappy... There's only a few things that I can even say are actually good, but I plan on making it the BEST!

Shane lost his job, we still don't have our own place, issues from the past (before we were together) continuously try to arise and cause problems, and still waiting on FAFSA to accept my application so that I can start school!!! BUT let me tell you... ALL this BS that I mentioned above isn't going to keep us down... Best BELIEVE THAT! :)

Life Lesson of Today

Never shut off your car when its almost out of gas... its almost a guarantee that there wont be enough gas to push through the hoses. So when you try starting the vehicle, it kills your battery as well as running out of gas!

Cute huh?! Well at least I got Shane to work on time... and I got to hang out in the parking lot for an hour... FUN TIMES!

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A Blessing In Disguise

Welp, its official Shane and I won't be spending much time together this summer! He got a job roofing, which he started yesterday and I start college full time on Monday, I'm taking accounting! Its going to be a rough summer but the end results will be worth it! :) Money, our own place, & the beginning of building our future together!  While he's layed off for the winter, I plan on taking off that quarter of school so we can focus on "us"!

Heaven's due date is just around the corner... she would have been 1 on May 3rd! Baby Loss Mother's Day! Alijah and Aaliyah's due date is July 18th! With all this sooooo close together, emotionally I have been struggling and I feel as though I have no one I can turn to, to communicate my feelings! I know Shane is there and would be willing to listen... He just has so much going on I dont want to burden him with the emotional stuggle that I am enduring! Plus I feel like he doesn't understand where Im coming from since he does have 3 living children!

Overall, I know I have a BLESSED life! God has put me to the test, a test that I can and will overcome in the very near future! With the help of the Lord and an undoubtedly supportive man, I feel as though I can weather even the worst of storms!

Until next time....

          Mommy loves you Heaven, Alijah, and Aaliyah! <3

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Birthday Pix- April 10th

My 25th birthday was yesterday and it was amazing just spending time with the love of my life... Shane made me a delicious steak dinner and got me a rose! :) Couldnt ask for a better man in my life!

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